When I got wind that the twelve legal aides in my department had gotten so fond of each other that they had started taking bathroom breaks every fifteen minutes as a group, I had to get up and look at the little plastic robots I'd bought at the dime store for a kick.
When I saw my assistant through the glass wall of my office stand up on her chair and start clucking like a chicken, I started winding up my limited edition die-cast Robby the Robot and got soothed by the lights and little spinnin' antennae.
But when the copier technician started runnin' up and down the hall wearin' nothing but smeared-on toner, I knew it would take my very best toy robots to calm me down.
Crouching down beside the shelves that held my display 'bots, I unlocked the cabinets on the bottom, selecting just the perfect robots. The original, never-removed-from-box, mint condition circa 1986 versions were currently sitting in a modified gun chest in my apartment, but the banged-up ones with the peeling decals I kept with me.
The first one I set down looked for all the world like an undersized Walther P38 pistol. I grasped the barrel and the grip and started tugging and twisting and clicking until a short, squat robot form stood menacingly on the carpet.
The second I placed a couple of yards away on its tires and attached the trailer. With loud 'vroom, vroom' sounds, the semi truck drove circles around the gun robot until I stopped it. I pulled off the trailer, then flipped the cab over, turning it into a heroic-looking blue and red robot.
They both sported oversized weaponry, and as I made sure the scene was set just right, I heard the voices starting to make the movie real. I knew I was probably supplyin' the voices, but who knew here, right?
The red, former semi-truck robot glared at his enemy.
"One shall stand," Optimus Prime intoned with a deep, gallant voice, "one shall fall."
The gray gun robot sneered back.
"Why throw away your life so recklessly?" Megatron demanded.
I brought another Decepticon close to Optimus Prime and the big Autobot leader just bashed on it with one swing of his metal fist.
"That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron."
With a crash of
This time, Prime wasn't gonna die.